Raman's Blog

Right now listening to music of 'Veer-zaara' . It was interesting to listen to second cd which describes how the tunes originally created by late Madan Mohan have been recreated and created into new songs. I am going to listen to this cd again and again as this gives some insight into how tunes are made and then how the lyrics are fitted into the tunes. I was always very interested in music but however somehow always found it difficult to appreciate subtle nuances of music. Infact I dont basics like what is a Sur , Taal , Laya , Raaga etc? Why a particular song is based on a particular raaga? Today also bought cd of 'Dhoom' which also has very good tunes.

Today we went to Great America and it had diwali celebration also. It was packed with people that is why it was taking close to an hour to get a good ride. However A enjoyed it also I was feeling generally cheerful becoz of my improved health. In the evening there were fire-works. On the way we did grocery shopping at Bharat bazzar then dinner at Lovely and on return did some shopping at wal-mart.

Tomorrow planning to play tennis with L. It shud be interesting. A has started taking Golf lessons. Many people say that deals are not made in meetings or in board-rooms but in golf courses.

Reading of 'Merchants of deception' is continued . It is like a page-turner. Even N is engrossed in it.

Yesterday downloaded 'Masters of Deception' book by John Jacob about the world-wide faruds conducted by Amway/Quixtar and its affiliated Motivational Organizations. It is a very chilling account of how educated/intelligent people are systematically manipulated by Amway/quixtar motivational systems. Having myself been duped by bww system of quixtar I found many parts of the book as my personal story.

Today we will be going to Great America park for Diwali festival celebrations. I am sure it will be a great fun and specially A will like it.

With improving activity levels I am able to read more and more books and accomplish a lot more work than I was able to do earlier. I have never felt so happy, calm and composed. Everything is appearing easy and smooth. Weight loss is happening gradually as expected.

I have booked for Ali Akbar khan concert coming up on Nov 20. I am sur it will be a great expereience.

Overall I am enjoying this whole blogging experience. Its a great outlet for pouring out my feelings and also to express one's writing and creative skills. I am also planning to create my Hindi blog soon.

So far my blogging has been more like writing diary in nature. Soon I am planning to start writing articles on topics of my interests or things which have kept me puzzled. I am sure it will be really exciting.

I am also reading some Deepak Chopra's books and they seem to be quite interesting and thought provoking.

Finally went to play tennis yesterday. Its always fun to play tennis regularly. Have checked with P for playing and he is ok with that. So I guess I should now have more tennis partners and hopefully I can have more varied tennis.

High protein/low-carb diet is working better than my earlier regular indian style diet. Planning to continue this for some time. Weight reduction pac has slow down which is probably because that now I am left with last 10-15 pounds which I need to loose to have fully normal weight.

Office things are going as usual. I have started interacting with more and more people in office and outside as well. Yesterday went out for lunch with J which was quite interesting. In yestereday's Offshore call it seems like not much new recruiting will happen at I. However A was desperatelty trying to play it down.

Activity levels have improved however progress of weight loss has slowed down , probably it is because of last few pounds to be reduced. Currently weight is hovering around 181 pounds.

Last sunday ( 24th Oct. ) we went to Shaan's concert at Los altos Hills. It was organised by Bengali Association ''Sanskriti". It was packed with people. With great difficulty we got two tickets.

But what a fantastic concert it was. Shaan is full of energy and vigour. He is also extremely friendly and easily accessible. He shook hands with almost everybody and called all the kids on the stage so our son also went on the stage.

He sang almost all his filmi and album songs and also sang some old film songs and some songs of other singers. Peopleare filled overjoy and they were dancing all over.

Overall it was an thouroughly enjoyable experience.

I was feeling depressed in office mainly due to some general consultant issues and discussing them our NJ based HR director. Actually to put it correctly instead of saying I was feeling depressed, I should say that I was depressing myself.

Much to my horror I had noticed few weeks back that I was actually depressing myself sometimes but at the same time I was not well aware that such a thing is happening. That is why I was protesting when Dr. W asked me to show to some psychologist about CFS.

Actually to avoid depression one of the best thing will be get involved in some activities and remain engaged in these. I guess this blog is turning out to be useful in this sense.

Other good idea will be to have a detached and balanced view about things happening around us.
Stock investment in India is doing quite well. So far it has appreciated to about 30% in less than a year which is a decent return. Also overall the portfolio is working better than NSE/BSE indexes. Lets how this folds. It has been a good learning overall.

Overall contolled-carb diet is working out to be quite well for me so far. Now I am stopping the metformin tablet as its need has reduced in a low-carb diet. Also because of higher insulin prdouction , it seems to be causing hunger , irritation and mood swings. I guess a lot of my problems in the past have been caused due to excess insulin and insulin/blood sugar imbalances.

Now I am reading remaining chapters of Albert Ellis' Feeling Better, Getting Better and Staying better' . It turned out to be quite a interesting book like some other Albert Ellis books I have read.

I was just checking

This weekend has been event/concert week-end. Yesterday went to Disney on Ice '100 years of magic' show at oakland arena and today went Shaan's ( Singer ) music concert. Both were very enjoyable experiences. A really enjoyed the Disney show. It was colourful and dazzling.

Shaan concert was very enjoyable. He is full of vigour and liveliness. He sang some beautiful and dancing songs.

Looks like new controlled-carb/high-protein diet is helping me alot, atleast so far results have been very encouraging. This week-end we had all these activities and I am still not feeling much tired. And I could do most of the work smoothly.

This is almost a major break-through since my activity level is gone up significantly and irritation/ mood swings /depression is reducing. I am able to read more books. Everything is looking doable and achievable.

At the office front, With the email sent by S about reorg, he has also mentioned that I mgmt structure might also be re-aligned to P structure and also off-shore has been made as optional cost-effective way of increasing support/development bandwidth. I decision makers are worried about the prospects of I/H loosing its importance/growth and also increased attrition by I resources. Let us see what happens. Any changes in I have some potential for affecting my current role as well.

Not much tennis happened this week, because of ongoing rains. Next 2-3 days also weather might be rainy. Lets see what happens. It will also be interesting to see that how this new-found energy helps in tennis play. Lets hope things will go for a major improvement.

Currently reading Vital Energy by David Simon. I was skeptical as book covers the vitality and fatigue related issues from a mind/body/spirit balance point of view. So I was thinking it might be vague and mystical in nature. However it has some vagueness here and there but it still has a lot interesting and useful idea and it seems like it has been written with honesty and seriousness. It has a lot of concepts taken from Ayurveda. It is interesting that a lot of things like Ayurveda etc. have lost their currency in India where they have been originated but interest in these have increased in western countries. Also interesting to note is that I have never have found any lucid/easily readable book on Ayurveda in Hindi but I am able to find better books on Ayurveda in English. Same applies to Hindustani Classical music and few other essentialy indian topics which are not easily available in Hindi but these topics have some better books in English.

Thats it for today.

Taken from David Simon's book '' Vital Energy "
------------------------------------------------

1. Ashwagandha ( Withania somnifera )
2. Gotu kola or Brahmi ( Hydrocotyle asiatica , Bacopa monniera )
3. Ginko Biloba
4. Ginseng ( Panax GINSENG )
- Ginseng enhances components of life in both men and women. Ginseng added to vitamins improves a person's sense of vitality and well being, but like most potent substance ginseng should not be used indiscriminately. Ginseng is an excellent tonic herb for people with a predominant Earth nature in which it helps to energize the life force. It should be used cautiously if the Wind element is the liveliest principle in your mind body constitution, as the additional energy provided by ginseng may engender turbulence.

5. Guggul ( Commiphora mukul )
6. St John's Wort ( Hypericum perforatum )
7. Valerian ( Valeriana officinallis )

Sr Name --------- Effects ----------- Cautions ----- Usual_Dosage ----- Tim to see effect

1. Ashwagandha -- stress protector -- Mildly heating -- .33/.5 gm twice/day -- 1/2 mnth

2. Brahmi -- mental tonic ---- rare skin rash ------ .33/.5 gm twice/day ------ 1/2 mnth

3. Ginko -- memory enhancer -- avoid ifon blood thinner -- 40/60 mlgm 2ice/d -- 2/6 mnth

4. Ginseng -- tonic ------- may cause restlessness ----- .25 /.5 gm twice/day ---- 1/2 mnth

5. Guggul -- Detoxifier ------ gastric irritation ------ .5 /1 gm twice/day------ 2/4 mnth

Its been a great day today. With the improving health I am having overall positive feelings and like the progress.

Office work went as usual , nothing specific. some billing stuff and some technical issues.

Finished atkins' 'New Diabetes Revolution' book. Now started reading 'Vital Energy' by Dr. Simon.

In the Evening played little bit of tennis myself. Afterwards played with A for few hours.

Went to M's house to send money for S in India.

More blogging tomorrow.

The whole idea of writing blog is very interesting. I used to write diary earlier in my notebook but I was quite irregular and quite often I had to push myself to write the diary.

However I just created my blog today and I have already written 4-5 posts and feeling to write more.

I am surprised why it did not click me earlier.

This will also act as an outlet for my various successes , failures , disappointments etc. This will also act as a platform for my experimental writing.

I am finding tennis very enjoyable.

Of all the sports I have played so far, tennis seems to be the best.

I will continue to play, practise and enjoy this game.

During the tennis play, I am fully absorbed into the game and there is nothing else going on in my brain. This does not happen when I am doing other activities like reading , talking , listening or office work.

With tennis, my exercise routine will be regular always.

I read some Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Behav. Therapy related books and found it very interesting. Here is a gist of what I have geathered.

1. Our reactions to situations and peoples can be controlled by behaving in REBT manner which includes following.
- USA ( universal self acceptance )
- UOA ( universal other's acceptance )
- HFT ( high frustration tolerance )

2. While me dislike or be disappointed by certain events but there is no need to 'awfulize' it. Instead just dislike it and find the rational ways to handle it.

3. Dont say that this person is bad or I am bad instead this person did wrong action in a particluar case.

After being diagnosed with hyper-insulinism ( metabolic syndrome) in Bangalore in Apr'04,
A combination of diet , exercise and metformin drug has helped me in reducing my weight from 205 pounds to 185 pounds.

Recently read Atkins diabetes related books and have started a controlled carb. Immediate results are encouraging. There is a reduction in weight and reduction in frequent bowel movements.

Now weight is arround 182 pounds. Target is to bring it down to 175 by mid-Nov and 165 by mid-Dec.

CFS – Case study

I distinctly remembered that time when the neck pain started and affected my life. I was in class 10th and year was 1986. Since then I have been having something or other health related troubles.

I will try to put the major troubles/symptoms in each phase.

From 1986 to 1988

Constant and lingering Neck pain affecting sitting and work
Low activity level
probably mild depression

From 1988 to 1992

Neck pain however by 1991 I had started controlling it by simple exercises
Low activity levels
probably some depression

From 1992 to 1999

Tiredness / Fatigue
Low activity levels
probably more depression
Trouble in sleeping / Unrefreshed sleep
Acidity / Heart-burns
Constipation / bloating

From 1999 to 2002

Tiredness / Fatigue
Low activity levels
probably some depression
Unrefreshed sleep
Acidity / Heart-burns ( controlled from 2001 )
Constipation / bloating ( controlled from 2001 )

From 2003 to 2004

Tiredness / Fatigue /Low activity levels
probably some depression


I would like to put some explanation

Neck pain : This is when the onslaught of troubles happened. I think after some yeas of exercising and mentally ignoring improved this and now this is very less.

Heart-burns / bowel related problems :: I think some of it was happening due to H-pylori. After the successful Hpylori eradication in Sydney in 2001 actidity/bloating problems have completely stopped.

Depression : I never thought I am depressed but now after some analysis and introspection I am realizing that I am depressing myself sometimes if not quite often. This might be complicated and aggravating an already complicated situation.

Weight Gain / Metabolic Syndrome / Insulin Resistance :: This was what was causing weight gain , quick hunger , irritability etc.

Lack of energy :: This might be happening due to Insulin Resistance , Depression , CFS related misdirected/hyper-active immune system

CFS :: I think while per se there is no organic or physical injury but due to misfired / hyper active immune system it is unnecessarily fighting with harmless stuff. This might be the reason why several extended release medicines are causing more problems for me. Or for that matter sometimes even after a long deep sleep , my body does not feel invigorated because immune system was fighting with these things.

Current program for controlling the situation :

To increase energy supply

More eating of vegetables / fruites and home cooked food
Taking metformin 1000 gm perday to fight insulin resistance
Regular exercises by playing tennis

To make sure energy is not wasted

Avoid taking of unknown medicines and outside food.
To understand / find the safest ways to get rid of any troubling food/tablet/agent from the body

To make sure mental / psychological things are in full control

Keeping an absorbing activity writing , reading articles
Playing tennis
More socializing
Outgoing / fun /game activities
Not observing /expecting from other people
Universal Self Acceptance and Universal Other Acceptance
Self montiring and Self analysis